


Together this Christmas

by Akiko_Natsuko



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Duties and Expectations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Family Feels, Friendship, Gen, Home, Homecoming, Loneliness, Secrets, Surprises, i miss you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 10:39:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16554215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: ‘Try to imagine a house that’s not a home.Try to imagine a Christmas all alone.’Grief and duty had got in the way over the last few years, and Noctis was resigned to another Christmas without his father. However, he hadn’t reckoned on his friends





	Together this Christmas

     For the most part Noctis had accepted the restraints that his position placed on him. He knew that he couldn’t always do what others his age did, having lost track of the number of events and school trips that he’d missed out on due to them being deemed to dangerous for the heir to the throne, or because they had clashed with his royal duties and the fact that he was still in school was not considered an excuse. He would past a smile on his lips and endure the days of happy chatter that followed as his classmates regaled him with what he had missed out on, and remind himself that it didn’t matter, that he had more important things to deal with, and most of the time that was enough.

    What had always been harder to reconcile was the fact that those same duties and expectations that kept him busy, were ten times worse for his father. Missing out on a trip to a farm beyond Insomnia paled in comparison to the number of times that he had gone up to the Citadel to have dinner with his father, only for Regis to be called away, an apologetic Ignis or Glaive being the one to inform that the King was otherwise engaged. It hadn’t been limited to that, and Noctis had long stopped counting how many other events that his father had missed out on, birthdays where the only sign he had that his father had remembered was the neatly wrapped gift waiting for him when he woke up. The rare weekends that they had planned to spend together to catch up that had been cancelled at the last minute, leaving Noctis to spend the time with Gladio and Ignis instead, training, working and hating every moment of it.

   When he had been younger he had kicked up a fuss, remembering countless occasions where the disappointment had burst out of him in angry words and tears. Nowadays he had trained himself to half expect it, absorbing each disappointment with quiet words and a shrug of his shoulder. However, it didn’t change the fact that even now he was a teenager he hated the fact that life kept stealing Regis’ attention away from him, that ‘duty’ stopped them spending time together. He didn’t count the state events, the formal dinners where he could be sat right beside his father, and feel like he was a million miles away, unable to see the man who had sat beside his bed for hours in the man sat at the head of the table, guarding his every word even around his son.

He missed his father.

    He missed the way Regis used to limp after Noctis had been settled into the bed for the night, coming to sit on the edge of the bed and asking about his day, pressing him for every little detail, praising him for any progress he had made and encouraging him whenever Noctis had dared to confess any worries he had. He missed the afternoons when he would be suddenly excused from training, only for Regis to appear and whisk him away, both pretending that their guards had no idea what they were doing as they walked the grounds, fished in the large ponds and went to visit his mother.

   He missed the relaxed meals in the small dining room that was for their use only, the still ridiculously large table largely unused as they would sit together, Regis chiding him about not eating his vegetables, whilst trying to distract him whilst he pushed his own under something else. They had never talked business on those nights, instead it had been light-hearted chatter and reminiscences… at least until recently, when on the rare occasions they ate together, business and the expectations for Noctis’ future were constant topics of discussion.

     He would never admit it aloud, although he was sure that Ignis could see though his acceptance of the situation, especially as he would always arrive with a new recipe for him to try the day after Regis had been forced to cancel an event or a private dinner had become a meeting instead.

    Still, the older he got, the better he got at masking it even from his loyal retainer, and there were times when he almost convinced himself that he didn’t mind, that it made life easier.  However, there was one time of the year that he still found himself struggling to accept the status quo and that was Christmas. He still had hazy memories of happier days, when he would creep in between his parents in the early hours of the morning, cuddling with them until they finally gave up pretending to still being asleep and letting him pull them through to the family room to open presents at the crack of dawn. Regis had never dared to miss those mornings, ad back then things had been more peaceful, so it was rare that there was anything that threatened to disturb them.

      That had changed with his mother’s death, and that first year he hadn’t thought much of it. Neither of them had been in the mood to celebrate, Noctis still recovering from his wounds and both keenly aware of her absence. He had hoped that it would settle down the year after, only to find himself creeping into Regis’ chamber to find that his father was already up and about. There had been presents waiting for him under the tree, and Noctis had settled in to wait, refusing to open them without his father, but the hours had stretched on without any sign of his father. It had been one of the Glaives who had eventually found him sat there, pity written across their features as they explained the King had been called away to deal with a situation early that morning and that he was unlikely to return for a couple of days.

That had been the start.

    Now Noctis could scarcely remember the last time they had spent Christmas together. Oh, they occasionally managed to have dinner together that day, but it wasn’t the same, the warmth and lightness from his memories was long gone and sometimes he dreaded spending the day with Regis just as much as he longed for it.

*

Christmas.

    Noctis was torn as he stared up at the net of lights that had been set up above the main street that let up towards the Citadel, hundreds of tiny lights sparkling as the evening sky darkened above him. It was as beautiful sight, as though the stars had come closer and he sighed, melancholy setting in as he stared at them. As a child he had loved every part of Christmas, loving the festive lights that transformed Insomnia and the Citadel into a magical wonderland, loving the food stalls that popped up in the centre of town and how Ignis’ eyes would light up as he found new things to try making. Today, it felt kind of empty as his gaze shifted to the Citadel, eyes easily seeking out the windows to his father’s chambers, unsurprised to see them dark, although his shoulders slumped at the sight.

    There was no point in seeing if he was going to be around for dinner, and with a sigh Noctis turned and headed in the direction of his apartment instead. He had been hoping to have the chance to discuss Christmas with his father, especially after everyone in his class had been busy discussing what they were doing for the festivities this year. It had hurt to sit there and listen to them happily describing family gatherings, and traditions and what they were hoping to get for Christmas, and his smile had clearly been less convincing than usual because Prompto had been side-eyeing him all afternoon, his best friend even moving to intervene when curious eyes had turned in his direction.

_“What are you doing for Christmas, your highness?”_

     He’d seen the expectation in their eyes, waiting for him to have exciting plans, always eager to hear more about life in the Citadel, especially as he rarely spoke about it, wanting to appear as normal as possible. He hadn’t known what to say. How could he tell them about the lonely mornings opening presents by himself, refusing to let Ignis visit him even though he had offered on more than one occasion, as it was one of the rare occasions when Ignis let himself shed his duties and visit his own family. Or how could he say that last Christmas he had eaten a microwave meal, because Regis had been called away and there was no way he was going to cook a proper meal for himself…although Ignis had scolded him the day after, telling him that he should have called him to make something. How could he tell them that he was dreading Christmas, because it was a reminder of how much things had changed?

    Instead he’d shrugged and grinned and muttered something about just doing the usual, laughing at their disappointed grins and letting them think he was just choosing to be mysterious. He’d seen that Prompto wasn’t fooled though, and it was why he had given him the slip at the end of school, refusing the invitation to join him at the arcade by pretending he had to go see his father. Now he wished that he hadn’t, because as much as he didn’t want an interrogation, he also didn’t want to go home and face the pile of reports and homework that he knew was waiting for his attention. It had to be done though, and he couldn’t face Ignis grumbling at him on top of everything, and so he pushed away the half formed thought about calling Prompto and seeing if he still wanted to hang out, hunkering down in his coat and continuing towards

*

     He was freezing by the time he got home, the winter weather having truly settled in for the long haul now and he was relieved to see the lights on as it meant that Ignis was there, and he wouldn’t have to wait long for warm food that didn’t come from a noodle carton. Although he winced as he realised that he hadn’t taken out the trash, which meant that his retainer would be able to see all the junk he had been eating over the weekend. That meant he was going to be subjected to at least one lecture tonight and he grumbled under his breath as he let himself in, breathing a sigh of relief as the warmth immediately engulfed him.

“Ignis?” He called as he hurried to close the door, doubting that it would be anyone else, but having learnt the hard way that it was always better to be cautious. He heard a muffled acknowledgement, although sniffing the air he got the answer anyway, stomach rumbling at the delicious scent drifting to him and he hastily shed his coat and gloves, dropping his bag by the door for the time being.

   Ignis was bustling around the kitchen when he moved through, and taking in the plates waiting to be filled Noctis moved across to set the table. “You’re home late,” Ignis commented, glancing up at him and Noctis froze, glancing at the clock on the wall and realising that his detour towards the Citadel had taken him longer than he’d thought.

“Sorry,” he muttered, setting the mats and cutlery down with a little more force than necessary, and even without looking up he could feel Ignis’ gaze boring into him, waiting for an explanation. “I was thinking that I would go and see my father, but it didn’t look as though he was on.”

“I believe he was attending a conference today,” Ignis replied and Noctis fought back a growl, hating the fact that Ignis seemed to know more about his father than he did, but knowing that it wasn’t his fault. Still, it rankled, and he was quiet as he settled at the table, feeling his appetite disappearing, although he feigned interest and murmured his thanks when his plate was placed in front of him, wrinkling his nose at the amount of vegetables it contained. Unlike Regis, Ignis had refused to abandon his attempts to get his charge to eat healthier and feeling slightly bitter he stabbed at the peas, shoving a forkful in his mouth, nearly gagging at the taste although he wanted to laugh at the startled expression on Ignis’ face.

   They ate in silence, Ignis watching him with a concerned frown and Noctis pretending not to notice as he picked at his food, forcing himself to eat more of the vegetables, not sure if he was punishing himself or trying to punish Regis for not caring. He waited for Ignis to call him out, and he was caught by surprise when Ignis finally spoke up, it was about a different matter entirely. “Since we’re nearly at Christmas, maybe we should see about putting up a tree or some lights?” It was probing in a different way, because Noctis was usually there putting the decorations up at the start of the month and he sighed, and shook his head.

“There’s no point.”

“Noct?” Ignis set down his knife and fork, frowning across at him.  “Is everything okay.” They both knew the answer to that, and Noctis almost wanted to laugh at his attempt to pretend that the question needed asking.

“It’s fine,” he mumbled, stabbing at his food. “It’s always fine.”

_What else can I say? I know that he’s busy, that being King must come first._

_But…._

_He wished that it didn’t._

****

     Noctis had eventually caved after a couple of days of probing, and he and Ignis had spent an evening putting up a Christmas tree and stringing lights up around the living room and for a time Noctis had felt his spirits lift. He still loved this part of the season, and he had been relatively happy to curl up on the sofa and work through the latest pile of reports, watching the play of lights against the wall.

   Prompto had mercifully decided not to push the issue either and the rest of his classmates seemed to have realised that he wasn’t going to say anything more, and the last week of school had passed peacefully. All he’d had to worry about was the last few pieces of homework, the reports that Ignis hauled home everyday and the training with Gladio, and he had thrown himself into it, not wanting to think about the fact that this year Regis hadn’t even suggested any plans for Christmas yet.

    It was less than a week until Christmas, on the very first day of the holiday that he finally heard from his father, just a quick text message asking him to join him for dinner that evening. There was still no mention of Christmas, but surely, they would need to talk about it and Noctis spent the day, his last day at school, distracted as he tried to think of ways to convince Regis that they should spend the day together.

He shouldn’t have bothered.

    He’d arrived home from school, intending to abandon his bag and get changed before heading out again, only to find Ignis waiting for him and dinner in the oven. He hadn’t needed to say anything, Noctis knew that the fact that he was here and not off fulfilling some other duty that something had changed, because Ignis always knew when he was going to be eating at the Citadel even when Noctis himself had forgotten to message him.

 “I’m sorry Noct,” Ignis murmured almost hesitant as he met the Prince’s eyes, and Noct already felt his shoulders slumping. He knew that tone of voice, that hesitation and he looked down, knuckles turning white as his hands curled into fists by his side. “His majesty was called away about an hour ago, and he was unsure when he would be back, and he asked that you dine without him.”

“I see.” It had taken him several attempts to get his voice to work at all, and Noctis grimaced at the audible waver. He did see. He knew that his father wasn’t free to do as he pleased, that there were more important than spending an evening with him. He knew all that, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. He wanted to retreat and hide in his room, but he could see the worry in Ignis’ eyes and he was reluctant to add to it and, so he pasted a blank expression on his face, and set to work laying the table, burying the hurt as deep as he could and resisting the urge to turn around and tear down the Christmas decorations.

**

    The days leading up to Christmas seemed to pass in a blur. Noctis spending his time with Prompto when he wasn’t training or trying to get through the reports that needed dealing with, and yet his mind was only ever half on what he was doing and who he was with. The other part was constantly checking his messages and pestering Ignis and even Cor on more than one occasion, to see if they knew when his father was coming back after what had been a tricky situation had blown up, leaving the Citadel tense and on edge for days. Noctis knew that he should be more worried about that, could see it in the disapproval in Cor’s eyes when he had mentioned that he was wondering if the King would be back for Christmas day, with no query about the situation. He didn’t care, not at the moment, with another lonely Christmas looming over his head, and his last-minute shopping done surrounded by happy families, his heart aching as he watched children sat on their father’s shoulders.

He missed his father.

    Still, he put a brave face on it. Thanking Gladio when the shield had clapped him on the back, offering rare praise before telling him that he didn’t want to see his face for the next week, even though Noctis knew that Gladio would be back before then and having been hoping to use the training to distract himself from what promised to be a dismal Christmas. He’d banned Ignis was from staying with him after dinner on Christmas eve when as expected he offered to spend Christmas with him, knowing that his family were waiting for him to go home. He had almost been surprised at how easy that argument had been to win, but he had dismissed it, thinking that Ignis was probably just used to it after the last few years. He’d then texted Prompto to tell him to enjoy the holidays and not to wake him up at the crack of dawn screaming about his present…although he had a feeling that warning would be completely forgotten when the blond opened his gift. Prompto had replied at once, making no promises about the next morning, but telling him to have a great day in a way that had Noctis frowning, as his best friend had been surprisingly careful when talking about Christmas the last few days.

   He had hesitated before sending a message to his father. Part of him wanting to share his bitterness and disappointment, even though he knew that it wasn’t Regis’ fault, however, in the end as he had sat there staring blankly at his Christmas tree, he hadn’t had the heart to do it. Drawing on the memories of happier times he’d typed a quick message and ending it with ‘Merry Christmas’, fighting not to add the ‘I miss you’ that he muttered as he sent it.

He didn’t get a reply that evening.

****

    As expected his phone went off at the crack of dawn the next morning, and mumbling and grumbling he’d reached out and pulled it close, unsurprised to see Prompto’s name flashing up on the screen. Somehow, he managed to find the answer button, vision blurry with sleep, his face half buried in the pillow as he mumbled.

“What?” He wished that he’d taken the phone away from his ear as his best friend squealed down the phone at him, his words falling over one another in his haste to get them out, and by the time he had descended into techno babble at the camera Noctis had bought him, Noctis had lost track of the conversation inching closer and closer to sleep. “Prompto…” He groaned, wanting to enjoy his friend’s delight but also wanting nothing more than to curl up under the cover and sleep the day away, especially when he checked his screen again and saw that there were no messages or missed calls, nothing to show his father had even got his message.

 _“All right, all right.”_ Prompto was laughing at him, too used to his lack of morning graces by now to take offence and Noctis grumbled at him, wondering just how his friend managed to be this awake so early, ignoring the fact that he had been the same when he was younger. _“Have a great day Noct! Has your present arrived yet?”_

“Present?”  There was a small pile under the tree, mainly from Ignis, Prompto and Gladio and a few other people he was closed to, and a small gift from his father that Ignis had delivered a week ago. Nothing to warrant the excitement in his best friend’s voice.

 _“You should really go and check,”_ Prompto sing-songed at him, hanging up before Noctis could growl at him to give a sensible answer and he sighed, staring down at the empty screen. What on earth was he on about? However, he knew that Prompto wouldn’t joke with him at this time of year, uncomfortably aware that his best friend had learnt to see through every mask he tried to put up and after a moment he reluctantly sat up and pushed his covers off.

     The apartment was chilly, and when he checked the window he could see why, snow had fallen overnight, settling over Insomnia in a thick, white blanket. It was a beautiful sight, and he paused for a moment to drink in the sight, his gaze eventually drawn up to the Citadel which was still largely in darkness, although given the early hour he supposed that was to be expected. Still looking at it soured his mood and he turned away, glancing at the pile of presents, still unable to see what Prompto could possibly have been so excited about. _What present?_ Worrying at his lip, he glanced around again, making sure he hadn’t missed anything before taking a step towards the pile, figuring that he might as well open them now that he was awake, and hoping that he would find an answer.

     He had barely wrapped his fingers around the first present, a messily wrapped one that he knew had come from Gladio and which he suspected was a weapon when there was a sharp knock on the front door. At once he froze, eyes narrowed as he glanced at the clock. It was too early for anyone to be visiting, unless it was Ignis and his expression darkened, a storm building. If Ignis had come back he would be less than happy, and for a moment he was tempted to just ignore the door, but then his visitor knocked again, more impatiently this time and with an exasperated sigh he set aside the present and padded towards the front door.

    He reached for his magic as he approached the door, keeping it dancing on his fingertips as he reached for the handle. He doubted that he would be forgiven for dropping his vigilance just because it was Christmas, and as he hadn’t been expecting anyone he figured that caution was the better part of valour and…

    His thoughts short-circuited as he swung the front door open to find a rather cold looking Regis standing on his doorstep, leaning heavily on his cane and wrapped up in a heavy coat. Noctis blinked, and then blinked again, half expecting the image to disappear and wondering if he was still asleep, but Regis didn’t disappear, a small smile spreading across his weary features, holding more than a hint of wryness as he slowly opened his arms.

“Dad?” He still didn’t believe it, couldn’t believe it and yet the image wasn’t wavering, and he took a wary, stumbling step forward, reaching out with a trembling hand. Regis didn’t move, a hint of sadness in his eyes as he watched Noctis inching closer and it was only when Noctis’ fingers closed on the fur at the neck of his coat, that he moved, limping forward and wrapping his arms around his son before Noctis could respond.

“Merry Christmas Noctis,” Regis murmured, and Noctis shuddered. But there was no denying that this was real with his father’s arms wrapped around him, warm breath against his ear, and slowly, still not daring to believe that this was real he returned the hug.

It felt like coming home.

    With a muffled noise that was a little too close to a sob he tightened his grip, drawing a muffled noise of protest from his father although Regis made no effort to pull away, instead beginning to draw soothing circles against Noctis’ back. “Why are you here?” Noctis finally asked once he got his voice to work, it wasn’t what he had wanted to say, but his emotions were a little too close to the surface for that yet, although he regretted the question when Regis slowly pulled back, sheepishly lifting his head to meet his father’s gaze.

“Can’t a father spend Christmas with his son?” Noctis nearly let it go at that, warmth flooding him with the implication that this was a passing visit, but… he couldn’t forget the silence, the distance and he frowned, waiting for more, startled when a sheepish expression crossed the regal features, Regis sighing, before reaching out and resting his hand on Noctis’ shoulder. “You have some loyal friends. Friends that found the courage to tell their King that he was ignoring his son. And it would appear that they were correct.”

Friends…

    Noctis flashed back to Gladio telling him to take the week off, rather than insisting that he came back to training on the same day as him. To the way that Ignis had let him win the argument yesterday with little or no effort, and to Prompto’s mysterious words that morning, and an incredulous grin spread across his face as he realised that they must all have been on this. That they had given him this. _Loyal friends,_ that was certainly one way of putting it and he sniffled slightly, eyes stinging as he made a note to thank them all when he saw them again, before focusing on Regis and it took him a moment to get his voice to work again. “Do you want to come in…Dad?” 

   Regis smiled, relief written across his face as Noctis stepped aside to let him inside, but rather than moving past him, he wrapped an arm around Noctis’s shoulder, guiding him back inside with him, keeping him close. And for the first time since his mother had died, it felt like it was really Christmas, and Noctis couldn’t be bothered to keep his mask up as he pressed against his father’s side.

“Merry Christmas Dad…”

 

 


End file.
